true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize