wat bout pragnant strippers??
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
