You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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