I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
