you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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