i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
