What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
