see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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