Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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