She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
