i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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