just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
