sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
