The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
