I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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