Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You're like the curious george of whores
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
