you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
