O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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