grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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