I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
