she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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