lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
