Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
