she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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