guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
