...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
