This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
