i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
