Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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