Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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