nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
