dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
