Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize