And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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