break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
