i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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