I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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