Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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