a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
