i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so that wasnt chicken after all
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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