I want to stick my p in your. b.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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