dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
How's work?
Spinning.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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