She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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