My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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