Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
