there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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