Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
