Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
