I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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