No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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