I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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