I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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