you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
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Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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