i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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