Christians are straight up FREAKS
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
