i just identified you from a description of your pipe
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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