I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
