sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
