Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize