who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
